Magically Delicious

"Will Gabriel let me take my mandolin through the gates...?" I asked knowingly.
"No Ralph...they already got lute players up there" Micheal said with a smile.
Will they let me jam with the other angels?"
"Well, Monday nights are 'open wings night'...."
"Who are the judges"....?
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http://www.ralphbuckley.com
"Cocoa Krispy's & Lucky Charms" (c)Ralph Buckley
Well upon the bi-polar pendulum....displaying the ups & downs or the highs & lows of erratic behaviour...I now bring you the latest edition of the 'ongoing saga' of "conkling"....
Yes, yes I must be honest here....I am officially diagnosed with 'bipolar disorder' and/or 'manic depressive'. I am either on the brink of breaking the secrets of alchemy or I am sadly on a journey where I have visions of Armageddon....crying eyes peering out from the depths of hell.....
..."Let's see here" says the doctor, perusing over my file. "Hmm, history of alcoholism, drug abuse...homelessness...liver deteriorating rapidly"...... "Yes, without a doubt conkling...you're delusional. A real wack job..."
So..here we are. Let me try to impart to you a couple of things, that I, at least think are pertinent.
1)The world is turning...
2)I am nuts
3)Life is short....
I've been really submerged into some serious shit lately...& the most important of which is 'meditation'....god that sounds so bloody puritan....let me put this in another way. I have rediscovered a way to "GET QUIET". A way to try to just enjoy BEING. Some call it 'breathing meditation'.
What's the most important thing I do everyday?...(besides eat & shit)
JUST BREATHE. (The words breathe and spirit(atma) are synonymous.)

This is a very difficult 'state of mind' to achieve. I remember hearing Howard Stern say "Man do you know how hard it is to just sit....and do nothing"...
It's because it feels next to impossible to turn off the endless, interminable chatter, that seems to go on & on inside your head...like an endless loop.
In essence...it's no easy task to turn off your thoughts!!!

I have tried and failed..time & time again at this. I mean I didn't just discover transcendental meditation yesterday. (Most of us did follow the Beatles through India)
But, lately I've discovered that I cannot achieve this blissful state of mind....until I truly let go.....OF EVERYTHING.
I've always been under the delusion of "I can do this....this is easy...piece of cake"...but I wasn't looking very deep into my psyche.
There are certain things that I have enormous difficulty 'letting go' ...not even for long enough to enjoy a few beautiful, blissful moments with the universe...the source.
At least, not until recently.
Ego is a strange thing...but, I'm learning that I will never grow beyond a certain point...until I put it aside.
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As of late, I've been talking with some folks who were interested in putting some capitol behind marketing my latest CD "9/11 Conspiracy Blues". It was a proposal that would market certain songs into college radio across the states.
The deal did not pan out...it fell through. But the thing is that I had put so much hope into this business venture that I think I was losing my focus of just who I was or just 'what' I was trying to achieve. It is since this venture that I've been able to step back. I've been able to breathe a little easier.

I hope you enjoy 'Cocoa Krispy's & Lucky Charms"....I needed some comedic relief from the intense world we live in....
If you can't smile.... not even for 2 seconds....well I guess you'll never be happy...
peace 2 ya's
http://www.ralphbuckley.com